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I finally found an alter ego to identify with --- The Female Honey Badger. "Watch out!" said that bird.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Siri is a Dirty Girl

The husband wanted to test out Siri on my new I-Phone.

Husband: Ask Siri this question: "Will my husband have sex in the next week?"

FHB: She isn't a Magical Mystical Eight Ball, but I can answer that for you--- "Outlook not so good".

Husband: Just ask her and see what she says.

FHB (speaking into the I-Phone): Will my husband have sex in the next week?

Siri: I have found 8 escorts. 7 of them are fairly close to you. I have sorted them by rating.

FHB (still talking in the phone): I meant sex with his wife you home wrecking Bitch!

Just Like a Dogg!

I suggested to my husband that he might possibly suffer from a tiny case of low self-esteem. His response:

Husband: "Low self-esteem? My ass!"

A few seconds pass.

Husband: "Gotta go to the backyard to mark my territory."

Then he walks out the back door, so he wasn't joking. If I knew he was serious I would have directed him towards the ornamental cabbage that I just planted... they need a little nitrogen.

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